Skyfall scuffle

October 15, 2012

I don’t know what the title of this blog post means. I must find a diversion.

Look! James Bond’s legs!

Did that take your mind of things? They’re his legs! James Bond’s! He even has a slightly pointing-in right foot; like I had as a child because I was weak, anaemic, in need of sun ray treatment. I used to walk like a pigeon (or like James Bond it seems). After a few months of clinic visits I over-compensated, walking like a Salfordian chimpy Charlie Chaplin (years before Liam looned and looped along).

My walking style has settled now. Over the years a happy compromise has been reached.

I wonder how many happy compromises are reached when the Bond directors are picked? (There’s a jump worthy of a blogger stunt double!)

Fans may yearn for a Scorsese/Nolan/Tarantino 007, but it will never happen. Take Skyfall, the 50th birthday Bond. The Bond People have picked that well known action director, Sam Mendes. Oh… is this my scuffle arriving?

I’m sure it will be great. It looks great. There’s enough people behind Bond (the Bond People) to make sure it works. That’ll be why it’s never a Scorsese or a Ridley or a (RIP) Tony Scott; they just couldn’t bear not having the control (the directors, that is. Oh, and the Bond People!)

Stop! Don’t let yourself get in a tizzy. Let’s relax. Here’s Adele.

It’s just that… he directed Away We Go. I… really… am at a loss. I feel weak. Pigeon legged. I just can’t go through that again. You can read my thoughts on that film here.

Maybe (like I said in that thing you might have clicked on, even read) it wasn’t his fault. American Beauty was good. Maybe he’ll prove to be the new Lewis Gilbert; at ease with both Shirley Valentine and The Spy Who Loved Me.

It’ll be great. The Bond People won’t have it any other way. He’s 50! Not that he looks it.

I’m 50 too! So less miserabilism Hickson. It’ll be great. you know it will be. You’ve even bought tickets. For the bloody IMAX no less. It’ll be big, that’s for sure.

Let’s end on one of the best Bond songs, by Marvin Hamlisch (RIP). Sung by Radiohead.

Away we go.

Seven Pounds

January 7, 2009


I went to San Francisco for the day yesterday. Here I am as the train pulls into Sunnyvale station at 8.13am. Once in San Francisco, it rained and rained. Or rather, drizzled. It left me with no appetite for trooping around, or even taking any pictures. I considered a trip to SFMOMA (the Museum of Modern Art) but again, my heart wasn’t in it.

So after doing my best for a while, I gave up and went to the pictures. I went to see Seven Pounds.

Is Jonathan Ross back on yet? Has he been forgiven? Let me get in with my Film 2009 review ahead of him, if I can. Let me get in ahead of Seven Pounds being released in the UK. Has it been released yet? I hope not. I like to think I’m ahead of the game.

Years ago, I used to come to the States and see films months before they came out in the UK. I’d come home and show off, like a kid from the future. Sometimes months would go by before my friends could be as hip as me. I remember seeing The Quantum of Solace in Boise, Idaho in 1977, when smooth-talking Roger Moore was James Bond. By the time it was released in the UK, in 2008, Roger had left the movie, replaced by the thuggish Daniel Craig.

Years and years and years ago, when I was a child, the film process was even slower. If you missed a movie at the pictures (or a picture at the movies) you had to wait five years for it to show up on TV. Now, it’s out on an illegal terrorist-funding DVD before it’s even been written.

The world is speeding up and we’re all racing towards death.

So, where was I? Oh yes. Seven Pounds and my attempt to swipe the Film 2009 gig from under Mr. Ross’ nose.

Seven Pounds is a bit like Mamma Mia. You’re either going to go with it, or you’re going to go against it. I went with it and cried and cried.

That’s it really. That’s my review. Unless I go ahead and spoil it for you.

I am going to write one more thing, and if you think you may go and see Seven Pounds, look away, because whilst it’s not quite a plot spoiler, it is a kind of plot teaser, and it’s may be best to go along and see the film without a clue.

Here goes. You wait an age for a Will Smith film to come along where he shares a bath with a non- human life form and then two come along at once. That’s it. Go on Will, do a third and make it a real bus story.

In I am Legend Will shares a bath with Sam, his dog. If you haven’t seen I am Legend, and if you’re thinking, that’s not a film for me, give it a go, it might surprise you. And Sam’s side of the story will have you in tears.

Hmm, perhaps I cry too easily at Will Smith films.

Two dogs, SF, 2006

Two dogs, SF, 2006