March 31, 2010
It’s not something you expect to see, walking down St. Martins Lane; Nazi stamps. This is the heart of London’s Theatreland. What are Nazi stamps doing on display? It shocked me a little. For the shop to put this display up, alongside innocent bags of planes and sports and cars and birds (usually, if they’re like the ones from my childhood, from Magyar), well, it means there must be a demand.
But who wants Nazi stamps? Nazi lovers I guess. But surely, odd and cruel bunch that they must be, they’d rather have a hat or a badge or a bayonet. A stamp seems a little coy for someone into race annihalation. It’d be like watching a Dr. Who deleted scene where the Daleks join the Sylvanian Families Collectors Club.
Who buys Nazi stamps? Sure, when we’re kids we all love the Nazis. They’re our favourite baddies. When I was young I drew this:
My teacher wisely gave me a B+. An A or above and who knows what kind of monster I may have become.
And so, like all children should, I left my brief flirtation with the Nazis behind. Oh, the jokey ones can still entertain; the zombies, the moon Nazis, the saucy werewolf ones. But now I’m grown up, the real ones, I avoid them. And their bloody stamps.
Who? I checked to see if Parsifal was on across the road at the Coliseum. Maybe the stamp dealer was hoping for some passing trade from those who love all things vaguely Nazi-ish. But no, just Swan Lake, which, at a stretch, you could describe as a little bit white.
I’ll be haunted by this display from now on. I don’t want it to be on St. Martins Lane. I like walking up and down the lane. I don’t want Third Reich stuff jumping out at me. What next? Will that little model car shop that I like looking in the window of, the one opposite the St. Martins Lane Hotel, will it be full of things like this? And will Starbucks recruit new staff?
Stop this London Theatreland Nazi nonsense now!
March 24, 2009
Followers of the Trev and Simon Podcast may have noticed that we can go on a bit about the Nazis- although they go unmentioned in our latest, Podcast No.3, found here. We don’t like them, and anyone who does is nuts. I guess we were born into a generation that started to mock them in an attempt to remove them of any credibility whatsoever. I would have been quite happy to blame John Cleese and his “don’t mention the war” for my interest. And who else in the world of comedy has had a go at the goose-stepping fools? Charlie Chaplin, Mel Brooks, Roberto Begnini, Freddie Starr, Dan Ayckroyd, John Belushi, Steven Spielberg, Spike Milligan. Oh, any comedian, film maker, comic strip writer. They’re all to blame for putting the Nazis into my comedy consciousness.
Except they’re not. It seems they’ve been on my mind since my schooldays. I blame the teachers. And why only a B+?
March 11, 2009
Seen it? Ok, so they haven’t any actors yet, but they do have a pooping pigeon. Maybe the Iron Sky schweinhunds will go head to bloody Moon-beamed head with Tarantino’s Inglorious Basterds. Tom Cruise, you just went and got in on the Nazi thing a little too soon. How can an eyepatch compete with misspelt swearing and Moon Nazis?
If you’re in a film kind of trailer kind of mood, take a look at Michael Mann’s new one, Public Enemies. Now that looks exciting, and like some kind of hack I’m going to have to say… The Untouchables meets Heat. Sorry.
So far one other… and it’s The Blues Brothers. Good choice whoever you are.
March 10, 2009
Years ago, possibly last century, I had a made-to-measure leather coat made. Made to measure me. Made by Rocky. He’s a tailor in Hong Kong. He did a good job. He made me the coat I wanted. But, really, it’s unwearable. Did I think I was Tony Hadley? Or Bryan Ferry? Or Tom Cruise in Valkyrie? (I can’t bring myself to think of myself as a bad Nazi). I’d be a good nazi, with an eye patch, no desire for war and a love of all people. I’m sure that’s what Bryan Ferry meant when he said he liked their fashions. Never order a leather coat from his son, Otis the Aardvark (is that his name?) He’d make you a coat out of squirming squirrels and flailing foxes.
If this self indulgent and hurried post is of any interest to anyone, and you’d like to know more, take a look at the photos and stories onthe Trev and Simon blog. You’ll find the Podcast there too, where we discuss the coat in further detail. And a leather coat-based poll. Right, must race off to pool. We, the JFK Rejects, take on JFK’s. A big match we cannot be expected to win. But never underestimate the Rejects.