All ten DVD covers have been reviewed… and one bogus one that sneaked in at the last minute as a result of Amazon’s Top Ten changing so radically between the 11th December and the 20th! Who knew Amazon could fiddle around with their lists so much; seemingly basing best on sales? Click here to catch up on yesterday’s Number 1.

And now it’s your turn. Three polls to vote in. Firstly, the best cover. Then, the worst cover. And, finally, the funniest.

Here’s a quick reminder of the contenders:

Comedy gala 2013

10- Channel 4’s Comedy Gala 2013

Peter Kay 2013

9- Peter Kay double pack

Kevin Bridges

8- Kevin Bridges: The Full Story boxset

Jimmy Carr

7- Jimmy Carr: Laughing and Joking

eddie izzard

6- Eddie Izzard: Force Majeure

Sean Lock

5- Sean Lock: Purple Van Man

Jack dee

4- Jack Dee: So What?

Bill Bailey

3- Bill Bailey: Qualmpeddler

Greg Davies

2- Greg Davies: The back of my Mum’s Head

Micky Flanagan

1- Micky Flanagan: The ‘Back in the Game’ Tour

And here’s the polls:

And for the last one, since a comedy gala has an unfair advantage, I have removed it and replaced it with yesterday’s surprise No. 1 choice on Amazon, Jethro!

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Ok, so I didn’t get a chance to do number 4 yesterday. Sorry! But it’s nearly Christmas and there is drinking to be done.

And so, rather than be a day behind, I am going to rattle through numbers 4 and 3 today. Here’s my thinking, this is the plan; if I get to Number 1 by Friday then you are all sorted for your Christmas shopping. You’ve got the weekend to buy the whole Top Ten. If that’s your thing.

The downside is that I can’t tell you anything about the content of these DVD’s. It’s not like I’m watching them! I haven’t got the time! Or the money! …No, hang on… I haven’t got the money! I knew it was one out of the two.

Having seen none of them I am solely judging a DVD by its cover. Which is fine by me. These comedians surely approved their covers; even, bizarrely, Jimmy Carr!

Before we start the Top Three countdown let’s get Number Four done. And it is…

Jack dee

Jack Dee: So What? Live

It’s the original Grinch! It’s the grumpiest comedian ever! It’s Jack Dee!

Here’s Jack! Looking more hapless than grumpy. He’s pulling the kind of face you imagine he might have pulled when he heard Martin Freeman had stolen the part of the Hobbit from him.

Ooh, as a little diversion, here’s some stuff I have watched. Let’s laugh along as Vic and Bob try to cheer Grumpy Jack up. And look carefully… at one point Jack is sitting next to The Hobbit himself, smiling away, not grumpy at all.

Now, back to the serious cover analysis.

I’m getting a little fed up of the double 15 certificate thing. It’s on all of these bloody videos. But, for those new to this blue and red stickeration the double 15 means this DVD is suitable for thirty year olds.

Jack’s gone for an old variety poster style for his cover. It’s a cross between the Good Old Days and a boxing flyer. As such, it’s covered in stars. The Telegraph gives the show Five Stars, but if you count them all up this is in fact a 47 Star show. That’s a hell of a show. So What? So 47 Stars What, that’s What!

Jeremy Hardy calls the show/Jack a “little ray of sleet”. It’s not quite up there with Lee Mack’s critique of Stewart Lee…

“A cultural bully from the Oxbridge Mafia who wants to appear morally superior but couldn’t cut the mustard on a panel game.”  Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012

… but it’s still a fun quote.

And so on to the Top Three.

(Incidentally, the Top Ten order has not been decided by me. I am going off the first ten comedy DVD’s that came up when I searched Amazon’s Stand-up comedy section way back on December 11th).

And, at Number Three…

Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey: Qualmpeddler

It’s Bill Bailey! And what a cover! Truly astonishing! A 12 certificate! A first for the Top Ten! Here is a DVD for (almost) all the family.

It’s also the first DVD in the Top Ten to entertain me through title alone. If only all warmongers became qualmpeddlers the world would be a much better place.

As far as most comedy DVD covers go (grins, teeth, quiffs, scowls) this one is a work of art. A spoof art work too, mocking and mimicking the militaristic murals of Mao.

mao poster

Mao Tse-Tung: China’s funniest mass murderer

Bill Bailey may be only Number Three, but it’s likely, when the votes are in (the poll will open on Saturday) that this cover will be Number One!

Tomorrow, Number 2.

With only two days to go it looks like I’ll run out of time to write about all the songs on Baby, The Stars Shine Bright… or maybe not. Am I allowed to carry on reaching my target beyond Friday night? Yes? I will have to. Come hell or high water I will reach my target of £1986 for Comic Relief.

If you’re new to this challenge just take a look over the past ten days and you will find out why £1986.

It’s for Comic Relief. I’m part of #twittermillion Team @tracey_thorn. We’re going to raise a million. Just you see.

In the build up to Big Red Nose Day tomorrow the BBC is showing Comic Relief: Through Hell And High Water tonight (BBC1, 8pm). In it Jack Dee wrestles with a hippopotamus. Maybe.

And guess what? Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt wrote a song called Come Hell Or High Water for Baby, The Stars Shine Bright. How could I not listen and learn to that one today?

But what does it mean, come hell or high water? Well, someone called Kitt writes: “This phrase appears to have been coined in the late 1800s to describe trail drives bringing cattle to the railroads. They had to cross the rivers even if they were flooding and the summer sun made the open prairies unbearably hot. The trail from Texas to Kansas went through hell AND high water.”

Ok. That sounds about right. It’s like Starship singing Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now. Singing it whilst Jack Dee hippo wrestles. Maybe. In mud.

Come Hell Or High Water (EBTG style) is, like yesterday’s A Country Mile, a country and western affair of sorts; a lush Patsy Cline-like ballad of drinking and singing and selfishness and charm; of staying “off the rails”,  of not quite walking the line.

Come hell or high water/ You never will be/ A goddess or a genius/ A drunkard at twenty three/ And all that you yearn for/ Is attention I guess/ Come hell or high water/ You deserve nothing less

And, selfishly on my part, seeking attention no doubt, I’m using these posts as an excuse to play some of my other favourite tracks that, obliquely, connect to EBTG. This one reminds me of (I’d Be) A Legend In My Time, as sung by Patsy Cline. I can’t find that on YouTube (which is a shame, as it’s the arrangement that makes me link the songs together).

I could play you the Johnny Cash version, but I won’t. Do give it a listen though.

A voice straight from heaven/ So you like to believe

Please enjoy lloyd Horlick singing (I’d Be) A Legend In My Time.

I think that’s just become my new favourite YouTube find of all time. For now.

Here’s Tracey singing Come Hell Or High Water… with some kind of desert island theme… hey, that’s YouTube for you, don’t blame me.

You can blame me for Lloyd if you like.

And if you can sponsor me, if you can help me reach my target, then you would be a legend in this time. You can sponsor me here.