Tweepstake 2014 – Day 6

June 17, 2014

An exciting day yesterday. Germany (@DarrenK73) beat Portugal (@ali_spencer) 4-0! An emphatic win no doubt, but the highlight surely was the funny pantomime antics of football’s latest cartoon double act, Pepe and Muller. In a performance worth of Ren and Stimpy, Pepe flounced out an arm which might just have caught Muller in the neck with all the impact of a hummingbird’s feather. This hurt Muller so much he writhed on the floor like a mardy baby. Pepe was having none of it. In a perfectly executed slow-motion head touch he leaned into Muller, and (just as the very edges of their follicles collided), Muller pulled a face worthy of Robert De Niro in – well, in life.

Muller Lite

Having seen red Pepe saw red again. He had to go. It’s the rules. No head brushing in football. These professionals have heads like eggs.

So, Muller got a hat trick and Portugal, one cartoon character down, got nothing.

In other games:

Iran (@Freig) and Nigeria (@redorbrownsauce) managed a goalless draw. That’s a point each. @redorbrownsauce said on Twitter “I’m not getting carried away but Nigeria & Iran have more points than Spain, Portugal, England & Uruguay put together!” It’s an impressive point (and an impressive point each) and Group F is by no means sorted. The teams next play on Sunday when Nigeria takes on Bosnia-Hercegovina and Iran face Argentina. (I say it’s not sorted; Argentina will go through but who will get second place?)

Crikey, I’m being very serious today. I promise I’ll lighten up a bit when I get on to today’s predictions.

Last game from yesterday was Ghana (@fiona_butler) against USA (@Lindaannbown). Guess what? I predicted 2-1 to USA and it was 2-1 to USA. My first correct result! USA had been knocked out by Ghana in the last two World Cups so it was about time for a bit of revenge. The two USA goals came at the beginning and the end of the game, the second one only minutes before the end and only minutes after Ghana had equalised.

Clint Dempsey, the C&W named USA player, was booted in the nose by the Can-Canning John Boye of Ghana. There was blood. He just got on with things. Take note Muller.



BELGIUM (@hbnm1985) V ALGERIA (@lolers)

5pm. ITV. Estadio Mineirao (cap. 60,000 approx) in Belo Horizonte. The first game for these two teams in Group H (also known as ‘the group of preparation’). Chelsea player Eddie Izzard Eden Hazard is one to watch for Belgium, along with Manchester City’s Vincent Kompany. Belgium’s population is just over 11 million, Algeria’s is just under 38 million, but not all of them are good at football. My prediction:

Belgium 2 Algeria 1 (why break a winning formula?)


BRAZIL (@Mojorainbw) V MEXICO (@bluebox99)

8pm. BBC. Estadio Castelao (cap. 64,000 give or take) in Fortaleza. The second match for each of these teams and both with a win, so a win for either team tonight should see that team edging closer and closer to the knockout stages (Oh, I can’t work out the maths, but this is the game to watch tonight). Brazil were a bit lucky in their first match (favourable refereeing, the host nation blah blah blah) so they better pull their socks up! Brazil have Hulk and Mexico play in a green strip, which makes it all a bit confusing. However, Hulk has hurt himself and so may not be playing. If he is out of the game Brazil plan to play Reed Richards in his place. In goal.

Mr Fantastic to replace Hulk?

Mr Fantastic to replace Hulk?

My prediction:

Brazil 2 Mexico 2


RUSSIA (@chislehurst) V SOUTH KOREA (@anna_borowski)

11pm. BBC. Arena Pantanal (cap. 40,000 or thereabouts) in Cuiaba. Pantanal is a funny name isn’t it. It means Swamp. I think. Or bottom pants. Either way, I’m laughing at the language of Brazil, which is no way to behave. Sorry.

Do you remember Fabio Capello? He managed England in the 2010 World Cup. Now he’s managing Russia. He’s got something to prove after England’s lone win in 2010 (1-0 against Slovenia). Here he is looking like someone who’s got something to prove.

Fabio Capello

Fabio Capello

My prediction:

Russia 2 South Korea 3

Yes. I know they are random predictions, but what the hell; I’m not claiming to be Mark Lawrenson (I’m just pinching his facts).

If you have laughed at any of my inane comments or my (no doubt illegal) use of pictures please donate £1 for each laugh to Alzheimer’s Society at my Just Giving page here. At best you’ll only be donating 2 or 3 pounds. At worst, no, you cannot make a withdrawal. Please help me reach my target of £1966.

Here’s a song to end on:



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