Let The World Cup Tweepstake 2014 Commence

June 12, 2014

The World Cup starts tonight, and everyone everywhere is excited. Even those who hate football. Or cups. Or the world.

Ok. There may be a few who are genuinely not excited. But even then, they are excited. They just don’t know it yet. The misery guts.

For those of you who don’t what the World Cup is, it’s a big load of football matches where everyone from everywhere plays each other. For a month! And at the end of it, there’s a winner. It’s that simple. And if you’re thinking… “Well, I don’t see Tuvalu in there, so it’s not everyone!”… good point!… Tuvalu is a country, but it’s also a small island. A very small island. They’ve tried football, but every time the ball goes out of play it goes into the sea (in 1983 it became such a problem the national team even adopted The Love Cats by The Cure as their theme tune).

That stuff about Tuvalu may not be true. They could just be shit at football, but that’s not nice to say, is it.

Look. Don’t expect informed analysis from me, ok? Leave me alone, I’m not bloody FIFA (not that FIFA is a person. Or a corrupt organisation. It’s not me who’s likened it to a Mafia family… though Sepp Blatter does have hamster cheeks like Marlon Brando).

Look, to clear up any doubt, I’m sure FIFA’s fine. Hey, what do I know?

On to important things. Alongside The World Cup, I’ve set up a #tweepstake2014. 32 people on Twitter are taking part, all representing one of the 32 countries that have made it to the final. And they’ve all very kindly donated money to Alzheimer’s Society for the dubious honour of taking part. Thing is, I’ve set myself the preposterous target of £1966 (something footbally happened way back then). I’m 38% there with donations of £762, but if you are enjoying my football ramblings and can spare a pound or two I would love you to donate here. That’s the end of the begging, I promise. For today. Well, for now.

All those in the Tweepstake are guaranteed a prize. And not just some rubbish. I am in the process now of begging the great and the good to donate. And guess what? Because they are great and because they are good, they are giving me things! And I promise I will not keep them for myself. Soon I will revel some of those prizes, but for now, let’s concentrate on what the experts call “footie”.

The tournament starts tonight with the host nation, Brazil, taking on Croatia. In #Tweepstake2014 terms that’s @Mojorainbw against @LadyLisaCusack. And here’s my prediction: The World Cup always starts off slowly; play is cautious and goals don’t come easy. 7-3 to Brazil.



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