Comic Relief Challenge day 9 – A Country Mile

March 13, 2013

Only three more days to go of my Comic Relief team @tracey_thorn Challenge. And my challenge is… well, it’s not much of a challenge at all really. I am listening to tracks from two EBTG albums, Baby, The Stars Shine Bright and Love Not Money and then I am writing about them. Why those two albums? Because they’re the two I have.

And my plan is to raise £1986, in honour of the release year of Baby, The Stars Shine Bright. If I can’t reach my target I will settle for £1985, the release year of Love Not Money.

People have been incredibly generous and kind, and, at the time of writing, my total is £540. That truly astounds me. Thank you all.

But I have set myself a ridiculously high target and, truth is, I am a country mile off reaching it. And so, as we reach the last few days of campaigning, I am going to try and cover some of that huge distance by writing about a track from Baby, The Stars Shine Bright  called, hey, A Country Mile.

A Country Mile isn’t an out and out country song but it does have a bit of torch and twang about it. And Ben Watt’s gorgeous orchestration makes me think of Owen Bradley and the great work he did late on in his career with k. d. lang. And then there’s Tracey Thorn’s soaring vocals, that would make any man, woman, or member of One Direction, swoon. And so, a breather before the song. Time to enjoy a bit of Kathryn Dawn.

And each time you smile/ I know I would follow you a country mile/ For all that I’m chasing is worthless and vile

I’ve looked online for information about country miles. This is my favourite find; Robin Hood shot a full mile; and, according to his bard, a north-country mile was equal to two statute ones.

If you are going to follow someone for a country mile, it’s not going to be easy. it’ll take time and the chances are you’ll stand in a cow pat.

Oh… that reminds me. Some folk have been surprised that these blog posts aren’t just jokes. It never occurred to me that I should be using the songs of EBTG as a basis for jokes, but if there’s the demand I’ll do my best to provide.

Here’s a joke my grandpa used to tell me. He told me of walking home drunk from the pub. He took a short cut through the local cow field. His cap fell off. He tried on 24 before he found his.

That’s the joke.

Another from my grandpa; the first joke I ever heard. It’s more of a riddle to be honest, but I was all of four, I’d laugh at anything.

Here it is:

What goes under the water and over the water but never touches the water?

I’ll tell you the answer at the end, give you time to think about it.

But when you smile/ I swear I would follow you a country mile/ Please save me before I do things that aren’t worth my while

This was one of Zoe’s choices but in the end she went for Don’t Leave Me behind. So I dedicate the lines above to her for saving me.

Oh, give me a break. I’m allowed some indulgence here. What? More jokes?

Why was Ben and Tracey’s barbecue a washout?

Because they remembered everything but the grill.

Right, can I get back to the songs now please?

There’s lots of Country Mile’s out there. Rory Gallagher, Clinic, Slim Dusty. Or how about this one from The Ink Spots.

But you’d have to go a further country mile to match this:

Three days to go to Red Nose Day. If you can spare a pound or two please sponsor me here.

Oh, and did you get it?

The answer is; an egg in a duck’s belly.

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