Comic Relief Challenge update – day 8

March 12, 2013

I’m livid today. Very angry with Comic Relief. But we’ll come to that.

Firstly an update. I’m up to £405! 20% off my target for team @tracey_thorn #twittermillion challenge.  I might not get to the £1986 100% mark but I’m going to keep on keeping on. Spurred on by Karen, and Ian, and Andrea, and Paul. Thank you all for your generosity. x

But I forget! I’m livid! With bloody Comic Relief!

I know I shouldn’t be. it’s Comic Relief after all. But really. For crying out loud!

I had an email from them today; a thank you for my fund raising, and, as part of the thank you, a treat. That’s nice.

They said:

“If we were standing next to you, we’d throw our arms around you and smother you in kisses for adding to your fundraising total. Unfortunately, we’re not. So, as promised, here’s a little treat instead.”

So the treat was instead of lots of kisses. The treat was a video. I had to click on it to get my treat.

And my treat was…

A message from One Direction.

Yes, you’ve read that right. A message from One Direction.

One Direction.

Have Comic Relief gone mad?

One Direction?

I’m 50 for fuck’s sake! 50!

One bloody Direction? A treat? What one earth do you think I am, Comic Relief?

Even if they’d said Trick or Treat, One Direction wouldn’t fit the bill.

I don’t even know who they are, Comic Relief! I’m 50! 50!

I’m so furious.

Now this would have been a treat:

I click on the link. Morrissey is there. He sings Teenage Kicks. And as he sings, One Direction skip past and he kicks each one of them in the head.

And as each One Directioner staggers away they bump into Tracey Thorn singing Kiss You. She kisses them better (Hey, it’s for Comic Relief. I cannot wish real harm on them).

As they walk away, swooning from the kisses, they walk past Ben Watt and Stewart Lee, both sitting on high bar stools, wearing big 80’s jackets. And they throw crisps at the children.

And Tracey joins them and throws crisps too.

And they’re salt and vinegar, and they sting a little.

But even though they sting, Harry tries to catch them in his mouth like a wind-up musical toy borne of Oliver and Russell Brand.

That’s a treat.

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