This watch

February 22, 2012

On my mid afternoon walk with Archie (Archie’s a Miniature Schnauzer by the way- though what do I know? I constantly forget. The other day someone asked  his breed and I said Miniature Dachshund). So. On my mid afternoon walk with Archie I passed this poster, and it took my fancy.

It’s not that Prophet Oscar Diomande is speaking just down the road in Catford… I say Prophet, but looking online he seems to switch between Pastor and Bishop… It’s not that the Prophet/Pastor/Bishop is in the vicinity. That’s not what got me. That’s not what took my fancy.

It’s that damned watch!

Look at it! He’s showing it off like he’s on a shopping channel.

Is that appropriate? Is it right? It’s a little flash isn’t it? For a man of God? Surely a Timex would do. At a push a Sekonda. That looks scarily Christin Lars to me.

He’s even pushing his jacket back to give us a cheeky glimpse. To make us envy his golden wealth. It’s surely not on.

Perhaps it’s something to do with his role as a man of God anointed for the last days.

Perhaps. Though, frankly, I doubt it. A man of God anointed for the last days would surely be doing us all more of a favour if her bore a calendar. A watch is far too abstract. Unless we’re in the last day. Now. In which case, goodbye all. Hope you’ve had a good one.

It started as something that took my fancy, but now it’s just unsettling. Particularly since I’ve started to think of Christopher Walken in Pulp Fiction.

Some of you will be with me by now. Some not. If you don’t know of the dark depths I am stooping to, watch this; this watch.

You’ll never look at a pastor’s gold covered wrist in the same way again.

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2 Responses to “This watch”

  1. Mark Christensen said

    He is not a Prophet, Pastor or Bishop, but one of the 3 “Wise Men” advertising Gold. You wanna see what the guys pimping francinsense and myrrh look like 🙂

  2. Hi Simon,

    Ah. So you’re a south-east Londoner. Bit of a long shot, but could we tempt you into the studio for a chat one day? We’re the local community radio station, based on Sydenham Road. Get in touch..

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