May 24, 2010

In the Godstone Farm tea room they have labelled their stirrers, “stirrers”. Those little plastic things that I use as oars when I put my non-existent Action Man in his non-existent canoe. Look! Action Man complete with tea stirrer.

I wonder why they chose to labe the stirrers but none of the other items of plastic cutlery or single serving condiments? Do farm visitors regularly pick them up and stare at them as if they were from the future? (the stirrers, not the people. People from the future would know a stirrer when they saw one I’m sure). Perhaps the staff are sick of people going up and asking “do you have something for er… stirring the tea?” What’s wrong with teaspoons? When did they go out of fashion? Did some folk see the stirrers as some kind of new-fangled cake cutter? Were they trying to eat their cakes with a stirrer, a crumb at a time?

I can’t think about this anymore. I have to go to choir. Bye.


3 Responses to “Stirrers”

  1. Andrea said

    That reminds me of a routine Dave Gorman used to do. At the start of his stand-up set, he’d produce a teaspoon from an inside jacket pocket and say: ‘This is a teaspoon’. And then gradually, every so often, he’d produce, say, a plastic teaspoon… then a paddle stirrer-type thing… etc etc, ie the things that are presented to us as things to stir our drinks with but which bear less and less of a resemblance to a teaspoon. I think it ended with one of those thin wooden sticks, and he’d say: ‘This isn’t a teaspoon’.

  2. Mark said

    Maybe they could put under the ‘Stirrers’ sign another one saying ‘Make sure you stir your tea in less than 5 seconds or the thing will start melting and become utterly useless’. They would need smaller lettering obviously

  3. Alice said

    Seems accusatory to me. I suspect the plastic implements were causing trouble in the prandial accessories hutch.

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