castaway 4

March 5, 2010

I had a casting yesterday. Every now and then these things come along, I go, and not much happens. A week or so ago me and Trev had one for some online thing; they wanted a couple of idiots to do a daft newsdesk thing. We thought we might have been ideal, but we haven’t heard. And that’s how it works. You just don’t hear. You wait and wait and wait and then at some point you realise, there goes another one.

Shortly after that I had one for some web browser thing. They wanted someone who changed his accent and personality with each line. I can’t do accents. I try, but as my friends point out, it’s just me speaking higher. I didn’t even bother waiting and waiting and waiting for that one.

Usually you know as soon as you walk into the casting agency. Just take a look at the company you are keeping. If they all look like you, you have a chance. If they all look like George Clooney, just leave straight away. if they are all fat and bald, as once happened, just worry about your agent’s perception of you.

And, occasionally, as happened yesterday, you are asked to come in costume. Yes, that’s right, you are expected to dress up and travel on the train or the bus as a clown, or a policeman. I have sat in a casting agency’s waiting room with a bunch of clowns on many an occasion. I don’t have a clown suit. If I were to ever dress as a clown I’d be the crying on the inside kind I guess.

Yesterday’s costume was ok though. They wanted us in suits and bow ties. So I put on a bowtie and my new shawl collar dinner suit (£49.00 from Burton’s) and headed off into town in the morning feeling like a wrecked straggler from a forgotten ball.

Once there, I was given a different tie to wear and a white overall to put over my suit. Well, at least I hadn’t clowned up.

It went well. As I left, the casting director pulled me aside and told me not to get my hair cut. This was a first! I’ve never had this happen before. Perhaps she just liked my hair the way it was and wanted to let me know. But I had been doing a bit of hair acting in the casting. Pushing it to one side, making it look a little bit crazy. Don’t get my hair cut! That’s as good as saying… don’t get your hair cut.

And then, late in the day, my agent calls. I get excited. Could I possibly be… employable?

No, it’s not a yes, or a no. They just need me to answer some questions. Measurements, health status, recent commercials (my last and only one was in 1995). But still… I’m not going to get my hair cut.

So, today I’ve waited and waited and waited. I even phoned the barber to tell him to go ahead and cut others.

The wardrobe fitting was for today. It’s 2.15pm. I’ve stopped waiting now.

I’m off to buy a clown suit and plan a bank job.

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6 Responses to “castaway 4”

  1. Andrea said

    Awww, Simon! 😦 It’s their loss. Or rather: hair loss. xx

  2. Sally said

    It’s bonkers isn’t it. I have auditioned 3 times now for a theatre tour that starts rehearsing in two weeks and they still haven’t called me to give a definite no – they are still “considering” and I had another casting (first round) and am also waiting for the phone to ring….it’s the only profession where they don’t tell you if you don’t get the job after you bother to turn up (and often hang around) for auditions – why do we do it? You have my utter sympathy. I hate castings….

  3. Stephanie said

    I really wish you could get a role in Coronation Street. You’d be perfect for the show. I see you playing a friendly, likeable odd job man called Len. If I worked there I’d employ you!

  4. Samantha said

    Oh poor you. Onwards and upwards! 🙂

  5. Simon Hickson said

    Thank you for your kind comments, but really, there are far worse ways to earn a living. I just need to concentrate on the earn part a bit more.

    I’d like to be in Corrie, but, for historical reasons, I’d feel a bit nervous playing someone called Len.

    Good luck with the auditions Sally.

    I still haven’t had my hair cut. Not sure if that’s down to some crazy ongoing belief that I will still get a part that was given away weeks ago, or just because I can’t afford one, or, I have so little hair left I must hang on to what I’ve got.

  6. james said

    People are just rude…it’s bad manners…why don’t they just call and say “Sorry Pal we’ve gone with somebody else?”

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