Clint Frecklestone

January 4, 2010

You may ask yourself “who’s Clint Frecklestone?” This may, or may not, be a picture of him. He hasn’t been cast yet. All you need to know for now is that he is a very very bad man.

Clint’s been created by my nephew, William, aged 7. I’m visiting my family in California and yesterday my sister, mum, niece, nephew and me headed down to Pacific Grove, a stretch of coast between Monterey and Carmel (where another Clint was once mayor). As we wandered amongst the rock pools, picking up hermit crabs and putting them back, we developed a film idea. It’s all the work of Kate and William, I’m just the mad uncle who encourages them to think crazy thoughts. I’m here til the 13th January. By then we will have made this film and it will be up on YouTube. It will be acted out by Kate and William’s toys. All of the following has been thought up by Kate, William and me a little. It’s our idea. No pinching. Here goes.

William started it all off by saying that in everything he watches, the bad guys dress the best. He went on from there and eventually reached the conclusion that bad men wear the best underpants.

And then, with no prompting from me, honest, William came up with the most inspired reasoning behind bad men and their underpants:

A bad man’s underpants are covered in pink hearts. Each pink heart represents a “kill”. To be a true bad man you need six pink hearts. You need to have killed six people. Clint Frecklestone has five pink hearts on his underpants. He is one pink heart away, one kill,  from being a fully fledged baddie.

And so there’s the set-up for our film. An anti-hero, one step away from fulfilling his potential, his dream; to be the proud owner of the baddest pair of underpants available, a pair with six pink hearts. Will he succeed?

This morning there was a development. I walked into the lounge and William stated who Clint Frecklestone had to kill to get his sixth pink heart; David Beckham.

We’ll work out the why’s and so on over the next few days. And, I think, with a bit of script editing intervention on my part, we’ll keep David Beckham safe and work on a redemptive plot line for Clint.

The title?

Bad Men Wear the Best Underpants.

The pics aren’t for the film. William just wanted me to take some photos of his soldiers shooting the seagulls. Sorry about the weird blotches; there’s something up with my camera.

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6 Responses to “Clint Frecklestone”

  1. Andrea said

    Ha! I love it. Perhaps ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ could refer to his ability to deflect a bullet?

  2. Andrew said

    Are you in Califor-ni-a to star in that godforsaken tv advert for California, where we can only recognise, at best two or three of the “so called” stars. I think one of the stars is Fatty Arbuckle and another one is Steve Baywatch. Could be worng though.

  3. Simon Hickson said

    Ha! I wish Andrew. If only. I’d even take the shame of being linked with Fatty Arbuckle. I haven’t seen the ad but I’d take anything these days.

    My sister lives over here and this is my belated Christmas trip. I had to wait for a flight I could afford- and I see you’ve seen which airline that was!

  4. sarah said

    thankyou william and simon for such a playful and ace post. we want to make underpant movies too. sxxx

  5. Is that a 50mm lens? I think your camera has dust on the sensor.

    Let me know when the film goes on YouTube, what a creative nephew you have 🙂

  6. Simon Hickson said

    Hi Anna, I think you are right. We’ve tried blowing compressed air into the thing but it’s just a little Samsung NV8 camera bought a few years ago for £100. So no removable lens. Taking it apart is possibly a bit risky. Will just have to make do til I get a new one I think.

    Might try and do a bit of filming this weekend. I leave to come back home on Wednesday so we haven’t much time. I don’t think we can edit so it’ll be a bit rubbishy, but hopefully charming and funny.

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