Happy Eater

April 11, 2009

There used to be a chain of, let’s say, restaurants called Happy Eater. They only existed alongside major roads and motorways. Whenever I drove by one I would always say “Happy Easter”. It was a kind of well meant restaurant induced tourette’s thing. I said it to try and make people happy. To make them smile. When relationships have broken down I would ask “is it me?” only to be told it was the Happy Eater/Easter thing. Well, the chain has gone, but my urge to say it remains. This an inversion. Happy Eater folks!

Today, for Easter, I met up with some of my folks and we went on a boat along the Thames.


We didn’t go on one of those fancy tourist things that creep along while some tired old skewwhiffed cap’n waffles on about heads being chopped off and eels being used to lash traitors. No! We went on one of those that just scoots up and down the Thames and gets you there and back. or rather, boosts along the Thames. It shoots flames out of its back tubes like Batman’s Bat Boat. All the better for getting away from Canary Wharf quick.

Docklands has been developed so bizarrely that if Harold Shand were alive today he’d be inclined to disown it as his manor. Or maybe not. Harold, the star of a perfect Easter film, The Long Good Friday, would be more likely to say “Trev and Simon? I’ve shit ’em!”

Today’s speedy boat trip made me think of another film; Clint Eastwood’s True Crime. Not one of his greatest but memorable for the Speed Zoo section, where Clint, in a hurry… ’cause he’s got to save someone from death row or something… whisks his son/daughter/niece/nephew or someone… around a zoo at breakneck speed shouting “Speed zoo! Speed zoo!”

Anyways, try the booster boat thing, it’s fun. And you see London quickly. And you can relax too. look! Not only do they have a ladder, they have a Safety Plan. In a tube.


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