all I need is the air that I breathe…

March 4, 2009


Sometimes. Look, these trees are the lungs of the earth. Or something.

Jarvis Cocker sang:

Yeah, the trees, those useless trees produce the air that I am breathing.
Yeah, the trees, those useless trees; they never said that you were leaving.

My ‘trees’ are currently working at 90% capacity. I know this because I had to go for my yearly asthma health check. I’ve had asthma forever now. And I’ve taken medication for it all my life. I’ve been on steroids for donkeys years. I’m a body builder, I’m a girl, I have breasts, I am a werewolf.

I’m not too good at going for the check-up, but if I don’t go I guess I don’t get the drugs. I’m meant to go every year but I overshot this time and left it for 18 months.

I go to Woodlands. That’s sweet, isn’t it? And then I am seen by Tog from Pogle’s Wood.

Not really. Woodlands is a health centre, where every room has a forest-themed name. There’s Oak, Palm and Eucalyptus. It sounds lovely, but it’s just a touch Ballardian. I didn’t get into one of the grotto-like rooms. I went into the Practice Nurses’ room. Why she doesn’t get a flora-related name is beyond me… and now I fight, oh so hard, to avoid calling her Marge. She wasn’t Tog but she was lovely. Can I say that? Of course what I mean is she was caring, and nurse-like and she kept touching my arm, as if to reassure me I was not about to die.

So, I’ve got to carry on with the steroids and get my Peak Flow up and beyond 600. Today it was about 540. It’s all a numbers game to me and I am determined to get beyond 600. I’m going to take up running again. Tomorrow. Maybe.


One Response to “all I need is the air that I breathe…”

  1. […] 20, 2009 Earlier this year I wrote a (hopefully) humourous piece about having asthma. Oh, that was easy then, when I was on top form, lungs working at 90% of their […]

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