I fought the law…

January 9, 2009


And the law lost. Sort of.

I met a friend of my brother-in-law today. I can’t reveal his name. He’s a lawyer, and it could seriously damage his professional reputation being connected to me.

How did the law lose? Well, it lost twice. The first time was in Japantown. I was meeting… let’s call him Deepthroat. No. Deepcrack… (that’s not rude, it’s a Frost/Nixon reference.) No, it is rude, possibly, so let’s not go for that. Ok, we’ll call him the Coach. He was off to coach his soccer pupils after our meeting, so… Hang on. Deepcoach. That’s it.

So, I’m meeting Deepcoach at noon. On a park bench in Japantown. I’m there early. I wander about a bit. I wander to here-


I only noticed the Private Property No Trespassing sign after I had trespassed. But I got away with it.

Then Deepcoach took me for lunch to a great sushi place. Kazoo. I had katsudon and it was excellent. Thanks for the lunch Deepcoach.

Deepcoach’s next port of call was Santa Clara County Court. The court wasn’t in session. Deepcoach had a word with the guards; all armed and in sunglasses, indoors (maybe). They said the English visitor could take a look, but no photos. I went through an elaborate security system, removing all metal items including my belt and my watch. Deepcoach removed his intimate piercings (only kidding, Deepcoach). He removed his metal leg.

Once in the court Deepcoach encouraged me to take a photo. I knew this wasn’t allowed. For the second time I fought the law and the law lost. Although not quite. Because this time I had the law on my side. Deepcoach got permission for me to take a photo from the judge himself. I’m not at liberty to reveal the judge’s name. let’s call him Judge Reinhold.

The courtroom was beautiful. Recently refurbished and with sun shining though and lighting the wooden chairs, as if they were on the verge of filming a Made for TV remake of Twelve Angry Men. If you look at the chair on the right you can see a wire hanger-like thing underneath. All the seats have them, and years ago, when all men wore hats, they would remove them in court and the brim would fit into the wire device. Women, of course, could keep their hats on.

english-pub-san-jose And then we went to the Britannia in San Jose. An English pub. We knew it was an English pub because it had a polished wooden phone box in it, and in the phone box was a suit of armour.

Oh, and more proof it was an English pub? They served Newcastle Brown and were showing Aston Villa beating Gillingham in the FA Cup (yes, yes, there’s a four day time delay here.)

Thank you Deepcoach. Thank you for showing me the sights of San Jose and treating me to lunch.

If you ever come over to London Deepcoach, I’ll take you for lunch and then take you to England’s world famous Morris Minor Museum. No photos though. I don’t have that much influence.


2 Responses to “I fought the law…”

  1. Trevor Neal said

    Those fake English pubs look better than the real thing – a suit of armour in a phone box? Genius! Who owns that pub – Vic and Bob? Shame Deepcoach didn’t bring all his courtroom buddies to the Sushi restaurant – you could of done a re-make of Twelve Hungry Men.

  2. […] away, so I was safe on this score. However, I did trespass. I wasn’t too worried though, as I had the law on my side. Posted by Simon Hickson Filed in America, Photography, Sinister Signs, Travel, walks […]

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