My mother is attacked by mad axeman in US cinema.

December 23, 2008

mum-jasonWhat’s gone wrong with the world? The day started off sweetly enough with a family trip taking my niece and nephew to see The Tale of Despereaux. And then at the cinema my mother was attacked by that axe-wielding maniac Jason. Of course, when I heard her scream I did what any caring son would do and took a photo. Then I suggested my six year old nephew tackled the nutter. How we laughed when we realised it was just a promotional display stand for a horror film.

If you’re thinking of taking the kids to see The Tale of Desperaux, think again. I’m not being a spoilsport here. I like kids films. But this tale of a mouse and a rat and a kingdom where soup is banished is so drearily worthy it might send you to sleep. Yes, it’s good to be courageous, and yes, we must all learn to forgive, blah blah blah… but please, make us laugh at least once. I liked Dustin Hoffman as the rat, but that was that. Sigourney Weaver as the narrator was so overly sincere and… even for the three year olds… patronising, I longed for her to leave the soundtrack and go off and fight a facehugger.

Some critics have said it’s nice to see a family cartoon that doesn’t rely on “bathroom humour”, and I agree. But this doesn’t rely on any humour at all.

Ok, I feel mean. So I’ve just gone and spoken to my niece and nephew to redress my meanness. Funniest moment? When Despereaux uses his big Dumbo-like ears to fly down to the king. There.

After the film we walked around a pet store and saw a dog being shaved.

dog-shave

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3 Responses to “My mother is attacked by mad axeman in US cinema.”

  1. sarah said

    I want the dog lady’s job!

  2. well, everyone needs a festive haircut.

  3. PS is that big spaniel watching from another room? is it like people watching a focus group/police line-up (only you can actually be seen)?

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