Last night I met a Bounder

December 4, 2008

michael_attree1Last night I met Michael “Atters” Attree, self-confessed bounder and Editor of Roguery for The Chap magazine. We were at a swanky champagne reception for the Willow Foundation’s Stars on Canvas charity auction. Only a couple of day’s to go, so please get bidding now. They’d make great Christmas presents, and my work is really cheap.

Well, I’m not sure about all of this bounder business. My dictionary (of slang) describes a bounder as being “one who is considered socially unacceptable or ill-mannered.” Mr. Attree was certainly socially acceptable and most well-mannered. Having said that, I wasn’t a lady. But then what kind of a bounder would be ill-mannered to the ladies?

Is he a heel? A cad? No, he was clearly far too decent a chap for any of these titles. Let’s plump for rogue, as in ladies’ man. Of course, the good manners and charming style could all be a ruse to cover his one true desire; to bed one and all at the Stars on Canvas ball. But then why chat to me for so long when there were so many lovely ladies to be aimed at? Perhaps just to get into the swing of things. After all, these posh do’s can be a little daunting, even for the most seasoned of society’s socialites.

Atters was so spick and span that standing next to him I felt like a hobo. Although he was impeccably turned out in a persimmon-coloured three piece suit with cravat I thought I spotted a weakness. His offering for the charity auction shows the Atters crest (complete with breasts!). A crest showing a socked leg, sock held high by a sock suspender. I demanded to see that he had sock suspenders on now. For a moment, taunting me, Atters looked sheepish. Ha! I’d caught the bounder out! It’s all a front! He lifted his trouser leg. No suspender in sight. He’d only gone one step further. The damned bounder was wearing long johns! Now that’s attention to detail. And with that he was off for a cigar.

fortunate1

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2 Responses to “Last night I met a Bounder”

  1. Andrea said

    now, if only his long johns had been held up by suspenders!

    did he also have a moustache?

  2. Simon Hickson said

    But of course! That’s him in the photo.

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